26 Mar He Who Laughs Last, Laughs Best – 20 Of The Funniest (And Strangest) Will Provisions
“Life is worth living as long as there’s a laugh in it” was stated in the book “Anne of Green Gables”. There can even be laughter at death as some of the following will provisions illustrate. There are also weird bequests some of which are provided for amusement. Here are some of my favorites:
- Sarcastic Remarriage Provision
Famed German poet Heinrich Heine bequeathed his entire estate to his vain spouse, Matilda, on the condition she remarry. Although that may have sounded like he wanted her to have a happy life after his death, the will went on to say “there will be at least one man who will regret my death”. - “He Should’ve been a Cowboys Fan” Will
Prior to the Eagles winning the Super Bown in 2018, a rabid Philadelphia Eagles fan requested in his will that members of the Philadelphia Eagles be his pallbearers – so the Eagles could let him down one last time. - “National Debt Solution” Will
One wealthy patriotic British citizen left all of his estate on the condition that the fund could be used once it had grown large enough to pay the entire national debt. However, the UK debt was larger than his estate so the condition could not and still has not been met. Under British law, the country can’t touch the money. - “Let Your Fingers do the Walking” Will
A Portuguese man who had no descendants and few friends decided to choose 70 names randomly from the phone book as the beneficiaries of his will. Each random beneficiary received 7000 euros. - Be Fruitful and Multiply – “The Great Stork Derby” Will
In the days before fertility drugs, a well-known Canadian attorney, Charles Vance Miller, who was not married and had no descendants, stated in his will that all of his assets be liquidated 9 years after his death and the money was to be given to a Toronto mother who had the most children within the 10 years after his death. Each of four mothers received $120,000 for having 9 children in that time period. This will was known as the Great Stork Derby will. His will also requested his Jamaican timeshare he shared by 3 attorneys who hated each other. - The “Last Laugh” Will
A father left a specific bequest in his will that said “To my estranged son, I leave a dictionary. Hopefully, he can use it to find the words he needs to apologize”. - “Chemical Imbalance” Will
A chemistry teacher left in his will that he be cremated and his ashes be mixed with his favorite chemical elements and placed in a lab flask on the mantel with a sign that read “Now, I’m really part of the periodic table”. - “You Don’t Need to Send me Flowers” Will
The widow of famed comedian Jack Benny said the florist daily delivered one long-stemmed red rose to her home based on Benny’s will after his death. However, she said the florist made a mistake as the will actually said “One red rose delivered to me every day for the rest of my life”. In other words, Benny (known for being frugal) was being funny since flowers couldn’t be delivered to himself after death. - The “Rule Against Perpetuities” Will (the legacy of bitterness will)
A Michigan millionaire specified that his fortune could not be passed until 21 years after the death of his last surviving grandchild (which is still the rule against perpetuities in many states as the longest period assets could be held in trust). In Texas, it is now the longer of the perpetuities period or 300 years. He died in 1919 and his last surviving grandchild died in 1989. So, in 2010, 12 of his descendants shared $110 million dollars. - “Truth is Stranger than Fiction” Will
The editor of Iron Man and Capital America in addition to other Marvel Comics stated in his will that his ashes be mixed with ink used to print comic books. This is not “pulp fiction” – there were 4000 copies of his “ink and ashes” comic book sold in 1997. - “The Beat of a Different Drummer” Will
The will of S. Sanborn, an American hatmaker who died in 1871 stated that 2 drums were to be made out of his skin and given to a friend on the condition that every June 17, the anniversary of the American Revolutionary War victory at Bunker Hill, the friend would beat the drums to the tune of “Yankee Doodle”. The rest of his body was to be composted to be a fertilizer to contribute to the growth of an American elm. He was ahead of his time as human composting is now permitted in 7 states. See our March article, “A green thumb after death? Human Composting “Circle of Life” laws are trending”. - “Pistol Whipped” Will
One anonymous testator stated that following in his will (names changed to protect the innocent) “To my daughter Lisa, who created my beautiful granddaughter, Tammy, and Lisa’s dear fourth husband, Henry, who laid hands on my Tammy, I leave one dollar – you money-grabbing b*stards. To Tammy, I leave all of my monetary assets, save $5000 for my son Jesse and my favorite pistol on the condition that he beats Henry bloody with the pistol during the time between my funeral and my burial. Tammy, bail your uncle out of jail please”. This happened and Henry didn’t complain as he was a convicted criminal. Although wills should not encourage a criminal act, it was weird enough to make this list. - “No Chip on his Shoulder” Will
The inventor of the Pringle can which created a way to stack chips (instead of being in a bag) commemorated his achievement by having his ashes buried in a Pringles can. - “Going Nowhere Fast” Will
A San Antonio woman was buried (at her request) in a white nightgown in the front seat of her 1964 blue Ferrari 250 GT with the seat slanted comfortably. It is presently a tourist attraction, but the vehicle was put in a box covered in cement to discourage a potential theft. - “Tchaikovsky’s Hamlet” Will
Famed composer Andre Tchaikovsky donated his body (except his skull) to science. He requested his skull to portray Hamlet’s “Yorick” on stage – which it was. - “One Last Shot” Will
A gun expert’s final request was to be cremated and the ashes be loaded into shotgun shells which were then shot in the air at his memorial in front of surviving friends and family. - Tony Curtis – “Final Call” Will
Tony Curtis requested and was buried with his Stetson hat, Amari scarf and iPhone. There is no indication on who he planned to call after death. - Gene Roddenberry – “Lost in Space” Will
The Star Trek creator, Gene Roddenberry, had his ashes taken on a spaceship and launched into space – his final frontier. - “Kidney Stone” Will (that too shall pass)
The deceased left a kidney stone he had to a grandson he didn’t like. Talk about unusual items that “pass” under a will. - “Second-Best Bed” Will
William Shakespeare left his “second-best bed” to his wife, Anne Hathaway. He gave the bulk of his estate to his daughter. Although it may not have been unusual to bequest a bed in Shakespeare’s time, it seems like his wife’s inheritance was on lay-away.
Wills can be fun and creative – it’s up to you as to how you want to be remembered.
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